God’s Words Have Awakened Me

Miao Xiao     Jinan City, Shandong Province

In the past, I used to always think that when God said “a puppet and traitor who flees from the great white throne” He was referring to those who accept this stage of work but end up retreating because they are unwilling to bear the suffering of His chastisement and judgment. Therefore, whenever I saw brothers and sisters back out from this path for whatever reason, my heart would be filled with contempt toward them: There goes another puppet and traitor fleeing from the great white throne who shall receive God’s punishment. At the same time, I felt I was behaving properly in accepting God’s judgment and was not far from receiving God’s salvation.

One day, when I was practicing spiritual devotion, I saw the following words of God in the text “Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth”: “for the substance of such work is actually the work of opening up the truth, way, and life of God to all those who have faith in Him. This work is the work of judgment done by God. If you do not regard these truths with importance and constantly think of avoiding them or of a new way out apart from them, then I say you are a grievous sinner. If you have faith in God, yet seek not the truth or the will of God, nor do you love the way that brings you closer to God, then I say that you are one who is trying to evade judgment. You are a puppet and traitor who flees from the great white throne, and God will not spare any of the rebellious that escape from under His eyes. Such men shall receive even more severe punishment. Those who come before God to be judged and have been purified shall forever live in the kingdom of God.” After contemplating these words, I finally realized: It turns out that the puppets and traitors who flee from the great white throne don’t just refer to those who retreat from this path. More importantly, it is referring to those who follow God but don’t value these truths, the people who are always evading these truths, looking for a new way out outside of these truths, and unwilling to submit themselves to God’s chastisement and judgment and seek to be purified by God. Under God’s enlightenment and guidance, I started to reflect on my own behavior: God is now expressing His words to judge man, and cleansing things from man that are incompatible with Him through suffering and refinement. But in the face of God’s chastisement and judgment, suffering and refinement, I am always trying to escape, hoping that God will quickly move these situations away. Is this not evading the truth and looking for a way out outside of the truth? When the people or things brought on by God don’t match my personal conceptions or when I fall into a negative situation, even if the communication of brothers and sisters can resolve my problems, clear up my misunderstandings of God, and help me recover a normal relationship with God, I still resist and refuse to listen. Isn’t this, as God says, not seeking the truth and not loving the way that brings me closer to God? When I am dealt with and pruned for the perfunctory way I carry out my job, I am always looking for excuses to explain myself. Is this not an essence that refuses to accept the truth? I often accommodate myself in real life. Even when I know it is the truth, I refuse to betray my flesh to practice it. Is this not merely accepting judgment but not seeking to be purified? … Now that I think about it, I understand it even more clearly: The people God says flee from the great white throne do not just refer to those who leave the church. More importantly, it refers to our hearts refusing to accept the truth and being unwilling to submit to God’s judgment. It is only now that I begin to feel fear and trembling. Even though I have not left the church, my heart was always trying to evade God’s judgment. Am I not precisely the puppet and traitor who flees from the seat of God’s judgment? Yet I had believed that only those who leave the church are the puppets and traitors fleeing from God’s throne, while I was very close to receiving God’s salvation. I see that my understanding of God’s word was too one-sided and shallow, and that my knowledge of God’s work was too lacking. Now, only those who sincerely accept God’s chastisement and judgment and whose dispositions have achieved change will truly receive God’s salvation. Instead, I was living in my own imagination, not hungering after the truth, not taking responsibility for my own life, and having no sense of danger or urgency at all. If I continue like this, would I not precisely be the object of God’s punishment?

Thanks to the enlightenment of God’s words, I have awakened from my own conceptions and imagination, realizing that I am not a person who is willing to accept God’s chastisement and judgment. It has also made me see that I am on the brink of danger. From now on, I will give my heart entirely to God, submit to His chastisement and judgment, and do my utmost to seek the truth and dispositional change, so that I can soon be purified and made complete by God.